Let’s Talk Sexy?
The Sex Talk with your parents or grandparents? It’s a thing for adult children or those who work with aging adults. If you remember your talk or lack of you definitely want to begin planning today.
Conversations About Aging
Occasionally I’m asked to talk about online dating for seniors and the Come Back Cupid program. While the focus of the program is for seniors it’s also about a larger conversation. How do you have uncomfortable conversations with aging family members?
Finding Success Through Context
Often when I give presentations there is a multigenerational audience. For me, this is the ideal audience because I can in one sentence take them back decades. “Remember your 16-year-old self and the sex talk with your parents.” For some, there was no talk and others remember an awkward conversation. Very few remember the conversation as informative, instructional, or helpful. Next, I take the audience into another experience. “How many of you told your parents everything?” Again, few admit to telling their parents the details about their dating life. For many, the fear of being judged prevented the conversation.
It’s Time To Talk Sexy
By framing our collective experience I can share what happens when we don’t talk sexy. For one example, an 80 something client accidentally signed up for a dating site. When I met with her the first thing she wanted to work on was how to stop the monthly billing. Similar, to her 16-year-old self she did not feel comfortable asking a loved one or friend for help. How long had the site been charging her for their service? In this instance, the question wasn’t important. Again helping her solve the problem was the goal.
Equally important talking about dating with an aging parent or client can open the conversation to other sensitive topics. When someone asks you Let’s Talk Sexy… say YES!
Currently, I am the Director of Program Innovation at Advocates For Aging. My claim to fame? First gerontologist to speak at South by Southwest. Another accomplishment? Freewheeling After Sixty the first book to make it easier for older adults to give up driving. Lastly, this summer I’ll be speaking at the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging on Let’s Talk Sexy: It’s Part of Aging.